Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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