Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You are a genius and a whore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
