i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
