Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
