Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
