You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
