he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
