we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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