i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
