first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
