love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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