Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
