What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
