Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
