I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My dick has a subreddit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
