Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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