I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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