tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
