well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
zippers are such a cool invention
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
