And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
