I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
