Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
