In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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