Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
