i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What a dumb baby whore.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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