I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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