He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We are two peas in an std pod
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize