i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
3pm strippers are depressing
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
