Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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