some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
