My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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