The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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