k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
