Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
