also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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