i don't like sucking hair
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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