I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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