Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
