pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
