After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
