would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
