he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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