i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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