Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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