If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
