Define "chronic" masturbator.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
