We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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