It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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