have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
