Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
