haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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