if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
