I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
