i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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